The first time I was asked in a group what my TEDx Talk was about, I wondered how folks in the room would react. I stood up and said “My Talk is about white people talking to other white people about racism.”

That night the reactions tracked with race: African Americans said “great!” “that’s important” or smiled and nodded thoughtfully when I replied. Most white folks did not smile. Only one said “that’s important!” One cocked her head and asked “where are you from?” Another said it was important and then started telling me about “racism against white people,” a phrase I find problematic. A couple looked at me blankly, at a loss for what to say next.

Every time a white person seemed uncertain or uncomfortable or even unwilling to respond — it affirmed the need for me to do this Talk, on this topic, at this time.

And every time the reaction was different, it confirmed the need for it too. Because whenever a white person responded by asking to hear more, or started telling me about their father’s bigoted remarks or the first time they heard a racial slur, we were white folks having a conversation about racism. We were white people breaking a widespread and common code of conduct among whites: we were breaking white silence about race.

I want these conversations to be commonplace. I want us white people to talk to each other about what it means for us to be white as often as we share where we grew up, how we met our spouses, the sports or movies we like, or the kind of work we do. No matter how upsetting or awkward it may feel. I want us to speak up when we hear something offensive, off-putting, or explicitly prejudiced. Even when we are uncomfortable. Especially when we are. I want us to be agents of change. I believe we can do that. I believe white folks can help create racial justice.

I gave my TEDxCharleston Talk: Silence Is Not Always Golden to help make this happen. It’s not a soapbox speech. It’s not a righteous tongue-lashing or finger-waving lecture. It’s an invitation with practical advice I learned the hard way. If it’s useful to you, please share it with friends and family, and post it in your social media platforms. Together we can create a better world for all of us.

After you watch my Talk, please share it, tweet it, post it, forward it. I’d love your feedback too. And check out these other resources for white folks against racism.